I awakened this morning with an overwhelming feeling and reflection on my life and the life of others like me. I am continually reminded of the loss of those who I once knew, or those souls who once blessed my life and are now gone from this arena. It is a sad nostalgia that seems to deepen with each passing day. Pictures of those love ones and scenes from the life we once shared flow past my inner vision like a motion picture on the chapters of my life. Their numbers are increasing as the years pass by, and now it seems, those old friends who remain are few in number, and others stand in to take the place of the departed with no memory of my past and the relationships that I once experienced so long ago.
All this awakens in me the knowledge that life is about relationships. We journey through this life, often so unconscious of the true and most meaningful purpose of our lives – to love one another. Yet, as we venture out into the world, we often become entrapped with the struggle of everyday life along with the fears that accompany our earthly survival. Our thinking sometimes becomes clouded by materialism and personal gain, and perhaps, most of all by fear. Our egos metastasize into beings of worth generated from the outside, from the world we perceive, and our true essence often so sadly shrinks into a corner of our being.
I have often wondered how pain and heartache, which accompanies all of us at one time or another, can sometimes be a blessing instead of a curse. I am reminded of Ram Dass, who once worked with dying people in a hospice setting. He often spoke of the humility that often accompanied those who were in pain. In this sense, and from my personal history as well, it seems that suffering often awakens us from clouded delusions of our egos. It appears that to stay conscious through the suffering is key. As our hearts break, we must still learn to love again. As our lives are shattered, we must learn to pick up the pieces, and as Rudyad Kipling once wrote: “start again at your beginnings, and never speak a word of your loss. If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve your turn long after they are gone, and so hold on when there is nothing in you except the will which says to them – Hold On!”
I am continually reminded, as I grow older, of the legacy that I intend to leave. And I, too, am softly haunted by the words I once read that stated ‘the pain you feel in the afterlife is the love you withheld in this life’. But, yet this is not the motivation I need. For me to love others just because it is all I truly want to do is motivation enough for me. To help a soul breathe easier, to bring joy into the lives of others, to provide someone with hope is all I need, and it is all I now live for.
One of my spiritual mentors - Ram Dass:
